Grace for Those Below

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Angry Like Jesus

Oct 17

Oct 17 Angry Like Jesus

In this instance, Jesus was faced with the unbearable hypocrisy of those who claimed to worship the True God being reduced to tricksters and finger-pointers because they couldn’t begin to entertain the notion that this was their long-awaited Messiah and that He might prefer the company of drunkards and fishermen to their own spotless dinner parties. And this is what gets me– Jesus’ anger was mingled with grief. Even in the midst of calling them out for the lunacy of their treatment of fellow souls, he mourned that they would never understand the freedom they could have experienced if they could just set down their pride and certainty long enough to accept it.

Even If I Drag My Feet

Sep 12

Sep 12 Even If I Drag My Feet

I kept reminding myself of these moments, and of the commitment I had made in a more peaceful state of mind, but even when I was in the air, hurtling across the Atlantic Ocean, no turning back, it felt like it might be a mistake.

That's sometimes how faith feels. It feels like you might have made the worst decision of your life. Because any act of faith has an inherent insanity to it.

Ten Reasons I Avoid Writing

Jul 23

Jul 23 Ten Reasons I Avoid Writing

Mar 15

Mar 15 Stability

At this point in my life, I feel like absolutely nothing is mapped out. Which may sound very adventurous and whimsical, but most days it just feels bewildering and frustrating. Like navigating a cross-country road trip with a sketch that someone drew on the back of a ketchup-stained napkin.

Jan 23

Jan 23 Trumpets

As I told the story of Gideon to my Sunday school class of second graders, I kept waiting for their eyes to widen. God sent 300 guys to war against thousands with JUST TRUMPETS. This is crazy stuff!

Dec 14

Dec 14 Playing Mary

It’s easy now that we’re two thousand years removed from the event to think of Mary and her miraculous pregnancy in glowing vignettes. We imagine a young woman, her eyes cast heaven-ward, serenely making the trip to Bethlehem.

What we miss is the vicious gossip that must have spread through Galilee. The other girls whispering about the oh-so-pure Mary being brought down a notch or two and the old women clicking their tongues and thanking the Lord that it wasn’t their granddaughters. We don’t think about the stilted conversations and sleepless nights as Joseph contemplated how to best end his relationship with Mary without shaming them both.

Nov 11

Nov 11 Surprised

Grace is receiving the very last thing that we expect, like an unexpectedly warm November afternoon.

30 Seconds of Silence

Oct 19

Oct 19 30 Seconds of Silence

“How are you doing today?” I ask, squatting on the ground next to her chair.

I wait for the response.

Ten seconds, twenty, thirty.

A thirty second processing delay may not seem like very long, but as an unanswered question hangs somewhere between my cheerful smile and her furrowed brow it feels like a small eternity..

The Essence of Camp

Aug 24

Aug 24 The Essence of Camp

We were sitting around the embers of our campfire, looking up at the stars, and one of my campers put into words what I had been thinking all week;

“I wish I could live like this all the time.”

Life in Narrative

Aug 3

Aug 3 Life in Narrative

I used to think my life was structured like a novel. There would be a static cast of characters, a generally sequential order of events, and a quirky protagonist who gradually learned to embrace life. The novel was naturally about me, with everything that happened in and around me serving to develop my character and push her on towards her end goal, a life that was well-lived and fulfilling. A satisfying end for any reader.

Which would be fine if life were anything like a novel.

Your Prayer Has Been Heard

Jul 20

Jul 20 Your Prayer Has Been Heard

For me, sometimes being single feels like the worst kind of waiting. People try to convince you that it’s the good kind, and that it will be worth it when you meet the right person, but in the moment it feels a bit like standing on the sidelines while the cool kids are picking teams for dodgeball. And you figure eventually you’ll get picked, but you dread how long it will be before you do.

The Gospel of Luke starts with a story about a couple who were well acquainted with waiting..

Jul 1

Jul 1 Look Up

Just to avoid any misconceptions from the start, I am not a runner. I never have been. If I had to put myself into a category (which on principle I never do), I would say I fall squarely in the realm of “brisk walkers.” When I do run, it’s with the excessive energy of someone who is trying to make up for a month of non-running in one go, resulting in a burst of speed and a quick collapse.

But once in a while the stars align. When I have just the right playlist, my Nikes are already out of my closet, the weather isn’t too hot or to cold or too dry or too humid, I think, I should go for a run. Last Friday was one of those rare occasions.

One Thing I Do Know

Jun 2

Jun 2 One Thing I Do Know

The name of one of my favorite characters in the Bible is never mentioned. A full chapter in the Gospel of John is devoted to his singular encounter with Jesus, but no name. All he got was a self-explanatory title and unembellished back story rolled into one uncreative moniker: The man born blind.

Phantom Stairs / The strange beauty of unrequited love

May 20

May 20 Phantom Stairs / The strange beauty of unrequited love

You know that feeling, when you’re walking up a staircase in the dark and you take one more step than you need to? I call it the phantom stair. You have imagined that stair so vividly that it’s absence feels like a betrayal. Instead of landing on something solid, your foot sinks through air. For a moment you wonder if it will ever make contact with the ground again, or if it will just keep sinking forever.

I think unrequited love, as they call it, is a lot like that moment.

Apr 25

Apr 25 Titles

The titles we give ourselves and the names we allow other people to assign to us can give us purpose or they make us complacent. If being at the bottom of the career totem pole at every job I have ever worked has taught me anything, it is that you should never let your job title determine your sense of worth or the effort you put into the job.

His Child (Dearly Loved)

Apr 3

Apr 3 His Child (Dearly Loved)

Sometimes when I think about the fact that God loves me, it feels absurd. How could God know me as well as I know myself and still love me? Surely if He knew the self-absorbed contents of my heart, He would put a little distance between us

Apr 3

Apr 3 Gentleness

I was tired. Emotionally, physically, spiritually exhausted.

And for a moment I wondered what would happen if I just stopped caring. Stopped trying so hard to accomplish things that everyone says are impossible. Stopped being such an overachiever. What if I just stopped thinking so much?

Love Drives Out

Apr 3

Apr 3 Love Drives Out

I can get so cynical. So negative. And when it builds up to a breaking point, I say things and react to things in ways that I instantly regret. And I hate it. I hate hearing myself rant. Hate my sarcasm and self-congratulatory speeches and passive aggression.

And most of all, I hate that I let it slip that I am an angry, critical person.

To Love a Human

Apr 2

Apr 2 To Love a Human

Love pushes against all of our natural instincts. Love is always giving of itself and never expecting anything in return. Love thrives when it spends itself. Love never complains, never holds back affection, never holds a grudge. Love takes all our abuses and returns them with kindness and compassion. Love is never destructive, but always mending what has been broken.

Unfortunately, we are not made up entirely of love. We are an incomprehensible fusion of love and lust, envy and imagination, optimism and dread, virtue and vice. This is the nature of humanity, these hybrid creatures with immortal souls inside deteriorating bodies.

Apr 2

Apr 2 Blessed is She

Mary was not the typical female hero, not in her time or in ours. She wasn’t an Esther or a Ruth, wasn’t breathtakingly beautiful or startlingly bold.

What defined Mary was her very significant insignificance. Some might call it meekness.