More Wonder, Less Criticism

Do you ever meet someone who is so genuinely positive that they make you feel like you are a better person because you interacted with them? I am not always one of those people.

Someone once told me that you should surround yourself with people who you want to be like. Which was pretty good advice- especially for me. I have always been somewhat of a social chameleon. My personality changes by shades depending on where I am and who I am with. Not so completely to become unrecognizable, but enough to make me feel a little unsure which self is completely genuine. (My Enneagram 9s out there, you get it). 

This may or may not be a character flaw of mine. I'm extremely agreeable. But I'm also prone to let myself be steamrolled by stronger personalities. 

And those stronger personalities tend to draw out the cynic in me that is always ready to spring into action just below the more positive surface. I think our negative, critical comments are signals we send out to let each other know that we get it. We are the ones who are clever enough and well-read enough to recognize that the world is more or less a dumpster fire and if it weren't for us clever, well-read individuals it would probably have already come to a tragic end. We point out faults to show that we're different. We're in the club. We're not the problem. 

It feels right to be a cynic. It feels like we're rational and smart and funny and above it all. Especially in times like ours, being negative sometimes feels like the only rational response. To be positive can come across as an uneducated trait. A shutting of your eyes to the reality we live with. And at times it can be the cowardly choice to lean on a false positivity because the news is too troubling or "it doesn't really affect me." We have to face the world as it is. 

But I'm convinced that more often than not we go too far in the opposite direction. We actively look for everything that is wrong. In my work with kids, I've noticed that one of the signs of a childhood coming to an end is beginning to notice and express that the world is full of bad things. Not just things they don't like- but really horrible realities. Unfortunately, for many of the kids I've worked with, this realization comes early. And with it often comes the loss of the ability to wonder at the good and interesting. 

So that's what I'm trying to reclaim. To stop and notice when something is really worth noticing. Seeing and celebrating the genuine and lovely things that people do. Laughing hard at jokes that are funny and not at anyone else's expense. Slowing down and asking myself if I need to point out everything that isn't right. 

But we can't stop there. We have to do the work. We need to focus on the goal of creating communities that are actually getting better and more just and more beautiful. And that's not easy. In the process we have to face harsh realities. We have to grapple with failure and odds that are stacked against what we want to accomplish.

I am so grateful to see so many of you doing amazing, difficult work out there, despite frustration and disappointment. God never promised that our work would be easy, but that He would be with us in the midst of it. And so I truly believe that while you are down there working to build us all up, if you look for it, you will find something to wonder at.