29
As I re-read the list of 28 lessons I wrote for my 29th birthday, it’s becoming increasingly clear that the lessons I most need to learn are the lessons I need to continuously re-learn for what might end up being the rest of my time on earth. This year has been QUITE A YEAR in some ways, and in other ways it has been much of the same. The same patterns, the same fears, the same forward progress followed by the same slide back into insecurity followed by inches of forward progress again. I’m beginning to grasp that growth as a person comes not just with the passage of more time, but with intentionality and a whole lot of work. All that said, here are 29 words of wisdom to my future self collected from the notebooks of my 29 year old self.
Better to do the thing late than not do it at all.
Better to do one thing with your whole self than a lot of things with only partial investment.
Feel your feelings. You’ll want to convince yourself that you are fine, but sometimes you won’t be and that’s MORE than okay to admit.
Your unwavering loyalty is one of your greatest gifts and it’s also the part of you that guarantees you will be hurt. Even in the moments when you wish you could feel less, it’s still a gift.
You can’t decide what other people will do, you can only choose your own actions. Keep reminding yourself of that until it sticks
Prayer is still not a last resort option for when you can’t control a situation on your own. The moment you feel like you can control a situation on your own is when you should start praying.
If you rely completely on your own energy or compassion, you’ll run out of that fast.
If you rely on God, you will go further and higher and into scarier territory than you thought was possible.
Don’t decide too quickly that you know what a person is really like. You’re probably wrong.
Keep letting people know what they mean to you and how they make you feel. Don’t assume that they already know.
The friends you met in college knew you when you were at your absolute weirdest and most selfish, so cherish them forever and know you can always trust them with whatever you’re going through.
Go ahead and send someone that letter or note or text or present.
Your wonderful imagination can also be the thing that keeps you from enjoying the moment you’re in right now because you imagine it could be better.
Practice being content with where you are now AND making plans for better things in the future. It’s not an either/or.
Remember that your anxiety is not your full identity, but it is part of who you are. Don’t hide it, but don’t hide behind it either.
You never know who needs to hear your story. Share it generously.
Authenticity is attractive, but it’s also earned. You can’t be authentic to yourself if you don’t take the time to know who you are.
Love what you love and you don’t have to explain why.
Make room in your life to feel angry, but don’t let it consume you. Learn to hold anger and hope in both hands.
Having the freedom to do something and doing the right thing are sometimes miles away from each other. Keep wrestling with how to use your freedom.
Learn how to get in good trouble.
You cannot understand the present moment without understanding the history that informed and shaped it.
You cannot understand your own present moment without understanding who and what shaped you.
You won’t want to do the work of figuring out why you’re acting the way that you are, but you need to keep doing that. Even, especially, when it hurts.
Growth, as a person and as a Christian, sometimes feels more like destruction and waste in the moment, but everything that gets cut off leads to more fruit in the future. (John 15)
If faced with a choice between settling into something you know or rising to something you can’t see yet, always rise. Your good intentions are not enough if they don’t lead to action.
Sometimes righting an injustice or inequity will mean giving up some of your own power or comfort. You can either surrender it gladly or lose it eventually.
If you are looking for credit or recognition for doing the right thing, you’re not really doing the right thing yet.
Some work that you need to be a part of is work that you will not see the outcome of in your lifetime. Do that work anyways.
